Two weeks from now I will be on my way or already at the airport. I think my flight leaves at 8pm (should really check that, add it to the list!), so I really should be there by 5 so I can wait around for it.
My last day of work was Saturday, followed by a very epic and not entirely un-Hangoverlike party that started at my place and ended there about 10 hours later . . . I didn’t get out of bed until 2:30pm on Sunday.
But that’s enough of fun and games! I have SO much to do before I leave IN TWO WEEKS! I feel like if I keep reminding myself that I’m leaving IN TWO WEEKS that it might actually become a reality. I’m fairly certain at this point that I’m in denial of my dream for the last 4 years, and that one day I will wake up and realize the application deadline for an exchange semester is tomorrow, and will start all over again. If this is in fact the case, and I am typing to the abyss – come and find me in Scotland, fall 2006. I’ll be at a bar with my friends in Glasgow.
Seriously though, my list of Things To Do is an entire, double columned page in 10 pt font – and most of it has yet to be scribbled out, noting it’s doneness. Where does this leave me? With a lot TO DO in the next TWO WEEKS. Of course the weather in Vancouver is once again beautiful and all I want to do is ride my bike, go walking, hiking, running . . . NOT pack in my below-ground room . . .
But the point of all of this rambling is this: I have reached the beginning of the beginning. This is the actual, real start of my new life. In TWO WEEKS I will be gone, and everything must be done, because I still don’t know when I’m coming back. I still am not entirely sure how I will get to the place I am supposed to be in a year when Mom and Dad come to visit. All that aside, and as tired and stressed as I am, I’ve been waiting for this for so long; dreaming about the day when I could just leave and not have to worry about coming back, knowing that eventually I will (or won’t) and everything will just work itself out.
There are a lot of endings in the beginning of the beginning: last day at work, last choir practice, last yoga session with Cat, last time in my favourite malls/stores, last time being here, going there. Are these last times for good? If I sleep at night am I missing something? Endings are always hard, and having so many of them at the same time is very overwhelming. So I keep trying to remind myself: it’s not the beginning of the end of an old life, it’s the beginning of the beginning of a new one. Stick with me, and I promise to let you know how it goes!